by Leil Lowndes
92 Little Tricks For Big Success In Relationships
There are two kinds of people in this life:
Those who walk into a room and say,
“Well, here I am!”
And those who walk in and say,
“Ahh, there you are.”
Those who walk into a room and say,
“Well, here I am!”
And those who walk in and say,
“Ahh, there you are.”
 |
| How To Talk TO Anyone 92 Little Tricks For Big Success In Relationships |
Leil Lowndes is an internationally acclaimed communications
expert who coaches top executives of Fortune 500 companies as
well as frontline employees to become more effective communicators.
She has spoken in pratically every major U.S. city and conducts
communications seminars for the U.S. Peace Corps, foreign
governments, and major corporations. In addition to engrossing
audiences on hundreds of TV and radio shows, her work has been
acclaimed by the New York Times, the Chicago Tribune, and Time
magazine. Her articles have appeared in professional journals and
popular publications such as Redbook, New Woman, Psychology
Today, Penthouse, and Cosmopolitan. Based in New York City, she
is the author of many books including the topselling How to Make
Anyone Fall in Love with You and How to Be a People Magnet.
If you come across any communications techniques, send
them to Leil—so she can share them with others. She would love
to hear from you. Her E-mail address is leil@peoplemagnet.com.
Would you like more communications techniques from Leil?
Sign up for her complimentary monthly communications hint.
Go to lowndes.com and click on “Subscribe.”
✰✰
How to Get Anything You Want
from Anybody
(Well, at Least Have the Best Crack at It!)
✰✰
Introduction
Have you ever admired those successful people who seem to“have
it all”? You see them chatting confidently at business meetings or
comfortably at social parties. They’re the ones with the best jobs,
the nicest spouses, the finest friends, the biggest bank accounts, or
the most fashionable zip codes.
But wait a minute! A lot of them aren’t smarter than you.
They’re not more educated than you. They’re not even better looking!
So what is it? (Some people suspect they inherited it. Others
say they married it or were just plain lucky. Tell them to think
again.) What it boils down to is their more skillful way of dealing
with fellow human beings.
You see, nobody gets to the top alone. Over the years, people
who seem to “have it all” have captured the hearts and conquered
the minds of hundreds of others who helped boost them, rung by
rung, to the top of whatever corporate or social ladder they chose.
Wanna-bes wandering around at the foot of the ladder often
gaze up and grouse that the big boys and big girls at the top are
snobs. When big players don’t give them their friendship, love, or
business, they call them “cliquish” or accuse them of belonging to
an “old-boy network.” Some grumble they hit their heads against
a “glass ceiling.”
The complaining Little Leaguers never realize the rejection
was their own fault. They’ll never know they blew the affair, the
friendship, or the deal because of their own communications fumbles.
It’s as though well-liked people have a bag of tricks, a magic,
or a Midas touch that turns everything they do into success.
What’s in their bag of tricks? You’ll find a lot of things: a substance
that solidifies friendships, a wizardry that wins minds, and
a magic that makes people fall in love with them. They also possess
a quality that makes bosses hire and then promote, a characteristic
that keeps clients coming back, and an asset that makes
customers buy from them and not the competition. We all have a
few of those tricks in our bags, some more than others. Those with
a whole lot of them are big winners in life. How to Talk to Anyone
gives you ninety-two of these little tricks they use every day so
you, too, can play the game to perfection and get whatever you want in life.
How the “Little Tricks” Were Unveiled
Many years ago, a drama teacher, exasperated at my bad acting in
a college play, shouted, “No! No! Your body is belying your words.
Every tiny movement, every body position,” he howled, “divulges
your private thoughts. Your face can make seven thousand different
expressions, and each exposes precisely who you are and what
you are thinking at any particular moment.” Then he said something
I’ll never forget: “And your body! The way you move is your
autobiography in motion.”
How right he was! On the stage of real life, every physical
move you make subliminally tells everyone in eyeshot the story of
your life. Dogs hear sounds our ears can’t detect. Bats see shapes
in the darkness that elude our eyes. And people make moves that
are beneath human consciousness but have tremendous power to
attract or repel. Every smile, every frown, every syllable you utter,
or every arbitrary choice of word that passes between your lips can
draw others toward you or make them want to run away.
Men—did your gut feeling ever tell you to jump ship on a
deal? Women—did your women’s intuition make you accept or
reject an offer? On a conscious level, we may not be aware of what
the hunch is. But like the ear of the dog or the eye of the bat, the
elements that make up subliminal sentiments are very real.
Imagine, please, two humans in a complex box wired with circuits
to record all the signals flowing between the two. As many
as ten thousand units of information flow per second. “Probably
the lifetime efforts of roughly half the adult population of the
United States would be required to sort the units in one hour’s
interaction between two subjects,” a University of Pennsylvania
communications authority estimates.
With the zillions of subtle actions and reactions zapping back
and forth between two human beings, can we come up with concrete
techniques to make our every communication clear, confident,
credible, and charismatic?
Determined to find the answer, I read practically every book
written on communications skills, charisma, and chemistry
between people. I explored hundreds of studies conducted around
the world on what qualities made up leadership and credibility.
Intrepid social scientists left no stone unturned in their quest to
find the formula. For example, optimistic Chinese researchers,
hoping charisma might be in the diet, went so far as to compare
the relationship of personality type to the catecholamine level in
subjects’ urine.2 Needless to say, their thesis was soon shelved.
Dale Carnegie Was GREAT for the
Twentieth Century, but This Is the Twenty-First
Most of the studies simply confirmed Dale Carnegie’s 1936 classic,
How to Win Friends and Influence People.3 His wisdom for the ages
said success lay in smiling, showing interest in other people, and
making them feel good about themselves. “That’s no surprise,” I
thought. It’s as true today as it was more than sixty years ago.
So if Dale Carnegie and hundreds of others since offer the
same astute advice, why do we need another book telling us how
to win friends and influence people? Two mammoth reasons.
Reason One: Suppose a sage told you, “When in China,
speak Chinese,” but gave you no language lessons? Dale Carnegie
and many communications experts are like that sage. They tell us
what to do but not how to do it. In today’s sophisticated world,
it’s not enough to say “smile” or “give sincere compliments.” Cynical
businesspeople today see more subtleties in your smile, more
complexities in your compliment. Accomplished or attractive people
are surrounded by smiling sycophants feigning interest and
fawning all over them. Prospects are tired of salespeople who say,
“The suit looks great on you,” when their fingers are caressing cash
register keys. Women are wary of suitors who say, “You are beautiful,”
when the bedroom door is in view.
Reason Two: The world is a very different place than it was
in 1936, and we need a new formula for success. To find it, I
observed the superstars of today. I explored techniques used by
top salespeople to close the sale, speakers to convince, clergy to
convert, performers to engross, sex symbols to seduce, and athletes to win.
I found concrete building blocks to the elusive qualities that
lead to their success. Then I broke them down into easily digestible,
news-you-can-use techniques. I gave each a name that will quickly
come to mind when you find yourself in a communications conundrum.
As I developed the techniques, I began sharing them with
audiences around the country. Participants in my communications
seminars gave me their ideas. My clients, many of them CEOs of
Fortune 500 companies, enthusiastically offered their observations.
When I was in the presence of the most successful and
beloved leaders, I analyzed their body language and their facial
expressions. I listened carefully to their casual conversations, their
timing, and their choice of words. I watched as they dealt with
their families, friends, associates, and adversaries. Every time I
detected a little nip of magic in their communicating, I asked
them to pluck it out with tweezers and expose it to the bright light
of consciousness. We analyzed it together, and I then turned it
into an easy-to-do “little trick” others could duplicate and profit from.
My findings and the strokes of some of those very effective
folks are in this book. Some are subtle. Some are surprising. But
all are achievable. When you master them, everyone from new
acquaintances to family, friends, and business associates will happily
open their hearts, homes, companies, and even wallets to give
you whatever they can.
There’s a bonus. As you sail through life with your new communications
skills, you’ll look back and see some very happy givers
smiling in your wake.
it all”? You see them chatting confidently at business meetings or
comfortably at social parties. They’re the ones with the best jobs,
the nicest spouses, the finest friends, the biggest bank accounts, or
the most fashionable zip codes.
But wait a minute! A lot of them aren’t smarter than you.
They’re not more educated than you. They’re not even better looking!
So what is it? (Some people suspect they inherited it. Others
say they married it or were just plain lucky. Tell them to think
again.) What it boils down to is their more skillful way of dealing
with fellow human beings.
You see, nobody gets to the top alone. Over the years, people
who seem to “have it all” have captured the hearts and conquered
the minds of hundreds of others who helped boost them, rung by
rung, to the top of whatever corporate or social ladder they chose.
Wanna-bes wandering around at the foot of the ladder often
gaze up and grouse that the big boys and big girls at the top are
snobs. When big players don’t give them their friendship, love, or
business, they call them “cliquish” or accuse them of belonging to
an “old-boy network.” Some grumble they hit their heads against
a “glass ceiling.”
The complaining Little Leaguers never realize the rejection
was their own fault. They’ll never know they blew the affair, the
friendship, or the deal because of their own communications fumbles.
It’s as though well-liked people have a bag of tricks, a magic,
or a Midas touch that turns everything they do into success.
What’s in their bag of tricks? You’ll find a lot of things: a substance
that solidifies friendships, a wizardry that wins minds, and
a magic that makes people fall in love with them. They also possess
a quality that makes bosses hire and then promote, a characteristic
that keeps clients coming back, and an asset that makes
customers buy from them and not the competition. We all have a
few of those tricks in our bags, some more than others. Those with
a whole lot of them are big winners in life. How to Talk to Anyone
gives you ninety-two of these little tricks they use every day so
you, too, can play the game to perfection and get whatever you want in life.
How the “Little Tricks” Were Unveiled
Many years ago, a drama teacher, exasperated at my bad acting in
a college play, shouted, “No! No! Your body is belying your words.
Every tiny movement, every body position,” he howled, “divulges
your private thoughts. Your face can make seven thousand different
expressions, and each exposes precisely who you are and what
you are thinking at any particular moment.” Then he said something
I’ll never forget: “And your body! The way you move is your
autobiography in motion.”
How right he was! On the stage of real life, every physical
move you make subliminally tells everyone in eyeshot the story of
your life. Dogs hear sounds our ears can’t detect. Bats see shapes
in the darkness that elude our eyes. And people make moves that
are beneath human consciousness but have tremendous power to
attract or repel. Every smile, every frown, every syllable you utter,
or every arbitrary choice of word that passes between your lips can
draw others toward you or make them want to run away.
Men—did your gut feeling ever tell you to jump ship on a
deal? Women—did your women’s intuition make you accept or
reject an offer? On a conscious level, we may not be aware of what
the hunch is. But like the ear of the dog or the eye of the bat, the
elements that make up subliminal sentiments are very real.
Imagine, please, two humans in a complex box wired with circuits
to record all the signals flowing between the two. As many
as ten thousand units of information flow per second. “Probably
the lifetime efforts of roughly half the adult population of the
United States would be required to sort the units in one hour’s
interaction between two subjects,” a University of Pennsylvania
communications authority estimates.
With the zillions of subtle actions and reactions zapping back
and forth between two human beings, can we come up with concrete
techniques to make our every communication clear, confident,
credible, and charismatic?
Determined to find the answer, I read practically every book
written on communications skills, charisma, and chemistry
between people. I explored hundreds of studies conducted around
the world on what qualities made up leadership and credibility.
Intrepid social scientists left no stone unturned in their quest to
find the formula. For example, optimistic Chinese researchers,
hoping charisma might be in the diet, went so far as to compare
the relationship of personality type to the catecholamine level in
subjects’ urine.2 Needless to say, their thesis was soon shelved.
Dale Carnegie Was GREAT for the
Twentieth Century, but This Is the Twenty-First
Most of the studies simply confirmed Dale Carnegie’s 1936 classic,
How to Win Friends and Influence People.3 His wisdom for the ages
said success lay in smiling, showing interest in other people, and
making them feel good about themselves. “That’s no surprise,” I
thought. It’s as true today as it was more than sixty years ago.
So if Dale Carnegie and hundreds of others since offer the
same astute advice, why do we need another book telling us how
to win friends and influence people? Two mammoth reasons.
Reason One: Suppose a sage told you, “When in China,
speak Chinese,” but gave you no language lessons? Dale Carnegie
and many communications experts are like that sage. They tell us
what to do but not how to do it. In today’s sophisticated world,
it’s not enough to say “smile” or “give sincere compliments.” Cynical
businesspeople today see more subtleties in your smile, more
complexities in your compliment. Accomplished or attractive people
are surrounded by smiling sycophants feigning interest and
fawning all over them. Prospects are tired of salespeople who say,
“The suit looks great on you,” when their fingers are caressing cash
register keys. Women are wary of suitors who say, “You are beautiful,”
when the bedroom door is in view.
Reason Two: The world is a very different place than it was
in 1936, and we need a new formula for success. To find it, I
observed the superstars of today. I explored techniques used by
top salespeople to close the sale, speakers to convince, clergy to
convert, performers to engross, sex symbols to seduce, and athletes to win.
I found concrete building blocks to the elusive qualities that
lead to their success. Then I broke them down into easily digestible,
news-you-can-use techniques. I gave each a name that will quickly
come to mind when you find yourself in a communications conundrum.
As I developed the techniques, I began sharing them with
audiences around the country. Participants in my communications
seminars gave me their ideas. My clients, many of them CEOs of
Fortune 500 companies, enthusiastically offered their observations.
When I was in the presence of the most successful and
beloved leaders, I analyzed their body language and their facial
expressions. I listened carefully to their casual conversations, their
timing, and their choice of words. I watched as they dealt with
their families, friends, associates, and adversaries. Every time I
detected a little nip of magic in their communicating, I asked
them to pluck it out with tweezers and expose it to the bright light
of consciousness. We analyzed it together, and I then turned it
into an easy-to-do “little trick” others could duplicate and profit from.
My findings and the strokes of some of those very effective
folks are in this book. Some are subtle. Some are surprising. But
all are achievable. When you master them, everyone from new
acquaintances to family, friends, and business associates will happily
open their hearts, homes, companies, and even wallets to give
you whatever they can.
There’s a bonus. As you sail through life with your new communications
skills, you’ll look back and see some very happy givers
smiling in your wake.
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Product details
Price
|
|
|---|---|
File Size
| 15,811 KB |
Pages
|
364 p |
File Type
|
PDF format |
Print Version
| 0-07-141858-X |
Copyright
| 2003 by Leil Lowndes |
Table of Contents
Introduction: How to Get Anything You Want
from Anybody (Well, at Least Have
the Best Crack at It!) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . xi
Part One: How to Intrigue Everyone Without
Saying a Word: You Only Have Ten
Seconds to Show You’re a Somebody . . . . . 1
1 How to Make Your Smile Magically Different. . . . . . . . . 5
2 How to Strike Everyone as Intelligent and
Insightful by Using Your Eyes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9
3 How to Use Your Eyes to Make Someone Fall in
Love with You . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14
4 How to Look Like a Big Winner Wherever You Go. . . . 17
5 How to Win Their Heart by Responding to Their
“Inner Infant” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21
6 How to Make Someone Feel Like an Old Friend
at Once . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27
7 How to Come Across as 100 Percent Credible
to Everyone . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31
8 How to Read People Like You Have ESP . . . . . . . . . . . 35
9 How to Make Sure You Don’t Miss a Single Beat . . . . . 39
Part Two: How to Know What to Say After
You Say “Hi” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43
10 How to Start Great Small Talk. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47
11 How to Sound Like You’ve Got a Super
Personality (No Matter What You’re Saying!) . . . . . . 51
12 How to Make People Want to Start a
Conversation with You . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 56
13 How to Meet the People You Want to Meet . . . . . . . . . 59
14 How to Break into a Tight Crowd . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61
15 How to Make “Where Are You From?”
Sound Exciting. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 63
16 How to Come Out a Winner Every Time
They Ask, “And What Do You Do?” . . . . . . . . . . . . 68
17 How to Introduce People Like the Host(ess)
with the Most(est) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 71
18 How to Resuscitate a Dying Conversation. . . . . . . . . . 73
19 How to Enthrall ’Em with Your Choice of
Topic—Them! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 76
20 How to Never Need to Wonder, “What Do I
Say Next?” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 78
21 How to Get ’Em Happily Chatting (So You Can
Slip Away if You Want To!) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 82
22 How to Come Across as a Positive Person. . . . . . . . . . 87
23 How to Always Have Something Interesting
to Say . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 89
Part Three: How to Talk Like a VIP . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 93
24 How to Find Out What They Do (Without Even
Asking!). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 95
25 How to Know What to Say When They Ask,
“What Do You Do?”. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 98
26 How to Sound Even Smarter Than You Are . . . . . . . . 103
27 How to Not Sound Anxious (Let Them Discover
Your Similarity) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 107
28 How to Be a “You-Firstie” to Gain Their Respect
and Affection . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 110
29 How to Make Them Feel You “Don’t Smile at
Just Anybody” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 115
30 How to Avoid Sounding Like a Jerk. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 119
31 How to Use Motivational Speakers’ Techniques to
Enhance Your Conversation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 121
32 How to Banter Like the Big Shots Do (Big
Winners Tell It Like It Is) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 127
33 How to Avoid the World’s Worst Conversational
Habit . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 129
34 How to Give Them the Bad News (and Have
Them Like You All the More). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 131
35 How to Respond When You Don’t Want to
Answer (and Wish They’d Shut the Heck Up) . . . . . 134
36 How to Talk to a Celebrity. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 136
37 How to Make Them Want to Thank You . . . . . . . . . 140
Part Four: How to Be an Insider in Any Crowd:
What Are They All Talking About? . . . . 143
38 How to Be a Modern-Day Renaissance Man
or Woman . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 145
39 How to Sound Like You Know All About Their
Job or Hobby . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 150
40 How to Bare Their Hot Button (Elementary
Doc-Talk) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 154
41 How to Secretly Learn About Their Lives . . . . . . . . . 157
42 How to Talk When You’re in Other Countries . . . . . . 161
43 How to Talk Them into Getting the “Insider’s
Price” (on Practically Anything You Buy) . . . . . . . . 165
Part Five: How to Sound Like You’re Peas in
a Pod: “Why, We’re Just Alike!”. . . . . . . . 171
44 How to Make Them Feel You’re of the Same “Class” . 173
45 How to Make Them Feel That You’re Like “Family”. . 176
46 How to Really Make It Clear to Them . . . . . . . . . . . 182
47 How to Make Them Feel You Empathize (Without
Just Saying “Yep, Uh Huh, Yeah”) . . . . . . . . . . . . . 186
48 How to Make Them Think You See/Hear/Feel It
Just the Way They Do . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 188
49 How to Make ’Em Think We (Instead of You
vs. Me) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 192
50 How to Create a Friendly “Private Joke” with Them . . 195
Part Six: How to Differentiate the Power of
Praise from the Folly of Flattery . . . . . . 199
51 How to Compliment Someone (Without Sounding
Like You’re Brownnosing) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 202
52 How to Be a “Carrier Pigeon” of Good Feelings . . . . 204
53 How to Make ’Em Feel Your Admiration “Just
Slipped Out” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 207
54 How to Win Their Hearts by Being an “Undercover
Complimenter”. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 209
55 How to Make ’Em Never Forget You with a “Killer
Compliment” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 211
56 How to Make ’Em Smile with “Itty-Bitty Boosters”. . 214
57 How to Praise with Perfect Timing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 217
58 How to Make ’Em Want to Compliment You . . . . . . 220
59 How to Make a Loved One Feel You Are THE
Partner for Life . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 224
Part Seven: How to Direct Dial Their Hearts . . . . 229
60 How to Sound More Exciting on the Phone . . . . . . . 231
61 How to Sound Close (Even if You’re Hundreds
of Miles Away) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 234
62 How to Make ’Em Happy They Called You. . . . . . . . 236
63 How to Sneak Past the Gatekeeper . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 240
64 How to Get What You Want on the Phone from
Big Shots . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 242
65 How to Get What You Want—by Timing! . . . . . . . . 245
66 How to Impress Everyone with Your Outgoing
Voicemail Message . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 248
67 How to Get Them to Call You Back . . . . . . . . . . . . . 252
68 How to Make the Gatekeeper Think You’re
Buddy-Buddy with the VIP . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 255
69 How to Make Them Say You Have Super Sensitivity . 257
70 How to “Listen Between the Lines” on the Phone . . . 259
Part Eight: How to Work a Party Like a Politician
Works a Room: The Politician’s Six-
Point Party Checklist . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 265
71 How to Avoid the Most Common Party Blooper . . . . 270
72 How to Make an Unforgettable Entrance . . . . . . . . . 272
73 How to Meet the People YOU Want to Meet . . . . . . 274
74 How to Subliminally Lure People to You at
a Gathering . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 278
75 How to Make ’Em Feel Like a Movie Star . . . . . . . . . 281
76 How to Amaze Them with What You Remember
About Them. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 285
77 How to Make the Sale with Your Eyeballs . . . . . . . . . 288
Part Nine: How to Break the Most Treacherous
Glass Ceiling of All: Sometimes People
Are Tigers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 293
78 How to Win Their Affection by Overlooking
Their Bloopers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 296
79 How to Win Their Heart When Their Tongue
Is Faltering . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 300
80 How to Let ’Em Know “What’s in It” for Them . . . . 303
81 How to Make Them Want to Do Favors for You . . . . 306
82 How to Ask for Favors (and Get Them!) . . . . . . . . . . 309
83 How to Know What Not to Say at Parties . . . . . . . . . 311
84 How to Know What Not to Say at Dinner . . . . . . . . 314
85 How to Know What Not to Say in a Chance
Meeting . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 317
86 How to Prepare Them to Listen to You . . . . . . . . . . . 319
87 How to Turn Their Anger Around (in Three
Sentences or Less) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 322
88 How to Make ’Em Like You (Even When
You’ve Messed Up) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 325
89 How to Trap a Rat with Class . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 327
90 How to Get Whatever You Want from Service
Personnel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 330
91 How to Be a Leader in a Crowd, Not a Follower . . . . 333
92 How to Make All the Right Moves . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 336
Notes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 343
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