Co-Written & Edited by Carl Frankel
ABOUT MANGO GARDEN PRESS AND THE CENTER FOR THE INTIMATE ARTS
Mango Garden Press is the publishing arm of Sheri Winston’s Center for the
Intimate Arts. The mission of Mango Garden Press and the Center for the
Intimate Arts is to provide empowering, enlightening, entertaining erotic
education for everyone.
We envision a world where sex is understood, honored and free from shame,
where our bodies’ ecstatic potential is explored and celebrated, and relationships
are based on integrity, compassion and love.
Our products and services include:
In-person and online classes, workshops and presentations for lay people
and professionals.
Individual and couples coaching and counseling (in-person and via phone/skype).
Books in digital and hard-copy format, which we publish via our imprint,
Mango Garden Press. For more information, visit
Articles, written blogs and video ‘vlogs’ by Sheri Winston and Carl
Frankel. These can be found on our website as well in articles by Carl
Frankel at YourTango.com.
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Book Details
Price
|
3.00 |
|---|---|
Pages
| 279 p |
File Size
|
2,615 KB |
File Type
|
PDF format |
ISBN
| 978-0-9898138-4-6 |
Copyright©
| 2015 Carl Frankel / Mango Garden Press |
Introduction
by Carl Frankel
WE ALL HAVE DIFFERENT APTITUDES.
Joe is great at math but terrible at reading
social signals. Carl’s smooth in the salon, but present him with a mechanical
challenge and he becomes a small domestic animal confronting a Rubik’s Cube.
Some people—the lucky ones—are gifted at sex. Really gifted at sex.
These are the sex masters of this book’s title. They’re clear channels about matters erotic.
For many of us, sex is as confusing as it is compelling. For this we can
thank, if that’s the word for it, a triumvirate of factors: the hugely powerful
nature of the sex drive, the urgent need to control it so as not to harm ourselves
and others—kind of like managing a hurricane—and, last but not least, our
culture’s ignorant, misguided and often sex-negative views about the entire
territory. Put these together—the power of lust, our need to channel it, and our
culture’s wildly mixed messages—and it’s no wonder that a great many of us
don’t know which end is up when it comes to that wild energy running through our loins.
The sex masters of these pages missed out on all that confusion, or got
past it somehow. They see sex for what it really is, beyond and behind all the
trappings it comes bedecked in. And what do they see, exactly?
A magnificent gift.
An unparalleled way to connect.
A source of amazing pleasure.
And, on a parallel note, they see a human tragedy in all the sex-negativity that’s out there.
They also know how good sex can be, which is a lot better than your
average bear—or human—believes possible. They understand that there’s sex
the way it’s usually done, and there’s sex the mind-blowing, boundary-busting,
better-than-you-could-ever-imagine way. And they see both kinds of sex—but
especially the second kind of sex, the ‘supersex’ kind of sex, the sex that so
many people don’t know about—as our erotic birthright.
The usual sexual scenario features limited foreplay, a single ejaculatory
orgasm by the man and an orgasm or two by the woman . . . sometimes, maybe.
(This is, of course, the heterosexual version. Adjust as appropriate for gay.)
And then there’s the insanely ecstatic alternative—leisurely foreplay that
can lead to full-body, non-ejaculatory ‘dry’ orgasms for the man and massive
‘megasms’ for the woman that continue for hours and hours.
To do Shakespeare a gross disservice: There are more things in heaven
and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your pornography.
If this sounds over the top—the sex, not the wordplay—it’s not. I’ve both
witnessed and experienced these things and I’m not even a sex master. The
difference between your usual sex and the amazing, transcendent sex that these
sex masters teach and practice is like the difference between a country-club golf
champion and a touring pro. Same sport, different league.
Are these people special? Yes—they have secret knowledge—and no—
they’re just folks. With the right attitude and information—all laid out in these
pages—you can, as they say, have what they’re having.
That’s why I curated this project. So you could be a sex master, too.
Not Just Technical Guidance
When I launched Secrets of the Sex Masters, I assumed I’d be assembling
a range of technical guidance on how to be a great lover. And I have. In these
pages, you’ll find chapters on Tantra (Charles Muir), male non-ejaculatory
orgasm (Michael Winn), female expanded orgasm (Patti Taylor), energy sex
(Reid Mihalko), female ejaculation (Tallulah Sulis), female genital anatomy and
sexuality (Sheri Winston), oral sex (Carlyle Jansen) and anal sex (Jon Pressick).
There is technical guidance a-plenty here.
But the book turned out to be more than that. Time and again, I found
these ‘sexperts’ addressing the ‘why’ of sex along with the ‘how to.’ They kept
stressing that sex isn’t only about physical pleasure, it’s also about connecting.
Over a century ago, the novelist E.M. Forster had an improbably prescient
epigram in his novel Howard’s End: “Only connect.” It’s an attitude shared by
the sex masters, with this addendum: “And a great way to connect is through (responsible) sex.”
What I eventually came to think of as ‘my’ sex masters also spent an
unexpected amount of time discussing our many emotional obstacles to
connecting. By the time the book was done, I had a chapter on sex and shame
(Charlie Glickman), one on (among other things) honoring our erotic fantasies
(Megan Andelloux), and another on finding the lover within (Caroline Muir).
The importance of communication also kept cropping up. When I asked
kink experts Nina Hartley and Ernest Greene to give me their list of most
important things to be expert at, I expected answers like “honor limits” and “stay
in character.” Nope: Communication was head and shoulders above everything else.
Eventually I came to understand that these weren’t just sex geeks with
specialized knowledge I was interviewing. These were wise people who
understand deep down that being the proverbial ‘wonderful lover’ isn’t only
about touch skills, erotic breathing and the like. It’s also about . . . duh! . . .
loving wonderfully. It’s about bringing your heart and all the rest of you— mind,
body, spirit—to your erotic encounters. It’s about loving well and being full of
wonder—about your partner, about the experience, about the Mystery—whether
you’re with a long-term partner, a friend with benefits, or someone you just met.
So: What you hold in your hands isn’t only a sex book about how to be
good in bed. It’s also a wisdom book about how to be fully human.
And to be that way in the bedroom.
Fully human: Now, that’s hot!
It turns out that one of the keys to being a great lover is to show up as you
truly are. This makes exquisite sense if you give it a moment’s thought: How can
you connect with another person if you’re not really there? And how can they
connect with you? Masks don’t connect and ghosts don’t, either.
Sex, these clear channels and wise beings kept stressing, isn’t only about
physical ecstasy.
It’s also about connecting.
The Story Behind This Book
It may be useful for me to share a few words about how I came to this
project. I’ve been partnered with the award-winning sex teacher Sheri Winston
since 2005. In 2009, I began collaborating with her in her business, The Center
for the Intimate Arts. This was a new professional direction for me in the sense
that I was neither a sex nor intimacy professional. Yet it was also a continuation
of my old path because it involved entrepreneurship, writing and editing, my
work for three decades, and because this was a social enterprise— business with
a dual commitment to doing good and doing well—and this was my main area of expertise.
Over time, I came to know Sheri’s colleagues, many of whom were also
her friends. Inveterate entrepreneur that I am, it wasn’t long before I’d dreamed
up the Secrets of the Sex Masters concept. I now knew some of the best
sexperts in the United States. Why not leverage their collected knowledge into a
book that would help get their important sexpositive guidance out into the
world? This project was totally in my wheelhouse and would be fun, too.
Eventually I started reaching out to some of the sex teachers I knew. Just
about everyone I invited to participate liked both the concept and the
collaborative nature of my proposed approach. I wasn’t asking them simply to
deliver a chapter to me: I’d work with them to make it happen, first by
interviewing them and then by proactively using my writing and editing skills to
help them transform the transcript into a chapter we were both proud of. This
meant less work for them and, busy people that they are, they appreciated this.*
I knew many but not all the contributors when I launched this project. The
retired porn actress and self-proclaimed ‘sexecologist’ Annie Sprinkle referred
me to Eve Minax (‘Eroticizing Safer Sex’) and Jaeleen Bennis (‘Bondassage’).
A friend of Sheri’s recommended the Taoist master Michael Winn. Contributor
Carlyle Jansen introduced me to sex blogger and fellow Torontonian Jon
Pressick (“Anal Sex”).
One connection happened without the benefit of an introduction. I’d read
somewhere that the famous porn actress Nina Hartley—one of the few porn
‘stars’ out there genuinely worthy of the name—was an ‘out’ submissive and
took it upon myself to contact her and her husband, the dominant Ernest Greene,
for the chapter on kink. They received my overture graciously and we had a
great conversation.
Fifteen chapters, sixteen sex masters, a wealth of practical information and
technical guidance, and a heaping helping of wisdom, too.
All for one purpose—so you, like the authors of these chapters, can
become a clear channel about sex and fully claim your erotic birthright.
Enjoy!
Table of Contents
Acknowledgments
Introduction
ESSENTIAL INFORMATION
1. The Dance of Anatomy and Energy—Sheri Winston
2. Sensational Oral Sex—Carlyle Jansen
3. Anal Sex—Jon Pressick
4. Power Exchange—Nina Hartley and Ernest Greene
5. Touch—Joseph Kramer
FREEING MIND, HEART AND BODY
6. Accessing the Lover Within—Caroline Muir
7. Sex as Improv and Creative Play—Karen B.K. Chan
8. Sex and Shame—Charlie Glickman
9. Keeping the Flame Alive—Jessica O’Reilly & Nadine Thornhill
10. Eroticizing Safer Sex—Eve Minax
11. Fantasy, Role Play and Communication—Megan Andelloux
ADVANCED SKILLS AND SPECIAL TREATS
12. Expanded Female Orgasm—Patricia Taylor
13. Non-Ejaculatory Male Orgasm—Michael Winn
14. Female Ejaculation—Tallulah Sulis
15. Bondassage—Jaeleen Bennis
16. Tantra—Charles Muir
17. Energy Sex—Reid Mihalko
Resources
Bookscreen
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they
are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these
are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Erotic Happiness.
—The U.S. Declaration of Independence
[tweaked]