JOEL D. BLOCK, PH.D.
a Notes Sex Therapist reveals his Secrets to Passionate Sexual Fulfillment
Book Details
Price
|
2.50 |
---|---|
Pages
| 358 p |
File Size
|
1,447 KB |
File Type
|
PDF format |
ISBN
| 0-7865-8720-2 |
Copyright©
| 1996 |
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or
by any means, without permission in writing from the publisher.
ISBN 0-7865-8721-0
Introduction
Do you want a richer, fuller, more intensely pleasurable and rewarding sex life?
That’s rather like asking if you would object to inheriting a few
million dollars, no strings attached and the taxes prepaid. Almost
everyone wants better sex. Even if it’s good, we want it to be better.
More frequent. More varied. Longer lasting. Sexual passion has the
power to lift our spirits unlike any other feeling, just as sexual frus-
tration can dampen our spirits unlike any other experience. We value
sex that highly.
This book is designed to help individuals and couples enhance their
sexual pleasure. Admittedly, a lot of books have that goal. The number
of books, instructional videos, and magazine articles about sex shows
how much people want and seek sexual help. How is this one differ- ent?
In Secrets of Better Sex, I have gone beyond vague advice to give
concise prescriptions for solving problems and/or improving the
quality of your lovemaking in particular ways. Under each entry, you
will find a definition, an anecdote illustrating the definition or com-
mentary from people about this area of sexuality, and a prescription.
In simple steps, you will learn how to delay male ejaculation, increase
female arousal, talk to your partner about the touchiest issues, perform
virtuoso oral sex, and much, much more.
The contents are organized alphabetically and cross-referenced to
information on related topics. This is a book meant to be kept on your
bedroom bookshelf and referred to again and again as your needs
change and new questions arise. Today you might be concerned with
dating and safe-sex issues and five years from now with overcoming
the daily obstacles of children, jobs, and stress to have good sex.
The prescriptions, though quickly read and easily followed, can
bring about a radical change in your sex life. Often the difference
between an adequate lover and a good one is a small amount of new
information, a little shift in attitude, and the learning of one or two
new moves. No matter how old you may be or how inexperienced in
the art of lovemaking, you can learn and change and master those techniques.
It’s hoped that the entries will be shared with your partner. Some-
times they may be the catalyst for talking about a sexual issue. As
important as sex is in our lives, most of us have trouble talking openly
about it with mates and lovers, even with doctors and other profes-
sionals. In some cases, the information presented here will inspire
you to further study of Eastern lovemaking techniques, cybersex,
health-related issues, or other interests.
Whatever your age, health, or marital status, you can have better
sex. Obstacles can be overcome. Problems have solutions. And you
deserve sexual pleasure.
Table of Contents
INTRODUCTION xvii
AFTERPLAY 1
Five Hints for Sex-Enhancing Afterplay
AGING 5
Women’s Primary Concern About Sex and Aging
Men’s Primary Concern About Sex and Aging
Five Easy Ways of Boosting Sexual Power
ANAL SEX 9
Seven Important Guidelines for Anal Sex
Three Alternatives to Anal Intercourse
ANATOMY, SEXUAL 12
How to Teach Him About Your Genitals
How to Teach Her About Your Genitals
ANXIETY, PERFORMANCE 16
Five Tips for Overcoming Performance Anxiety
APHRODISIACS 19
AROUSAL 21
The Step Beyond Desire
Why You - Or Your Partner - Aren’t Getting Excited About Sex
When He Loses His Erection During Lovemaking
The Four Keys to Male Arousal
The Four Keys to Female Arousal
The Secret to Increasing Arousal During Lovemaking
ATTITUDES ABOUT SEX 26
The Thirteen Attitudes for Super Sex
AURAL AROUSAL, THE STIMULATION OF SOUND 29
Six Hints for Erotic Expression
BISEXUALITY 33
BODY IMAGE AND SEXUALITY 36
How You Feel About Your Body Affects Your Sexuality
The Top Five Female Body Issues
The Top Five Male Body Issues
How You Can Learn to Love Your Body
How You Can Help Your Partner Learn to Love His or Her Body
BOREDOM, SEXUAL, OVERCOMING 40
Six Steps to Climbing Out of the Sexual Boredom Rut
BREASTS 44
Top Six (Nonmedical) Breast Questions
CALENDAR, CREATING A ROMANTIC 48
CELIBACY, CREATIVE 50
Why Do Some People Choose to Be Celibate?
Should People Choose to Abstain from Sex?
How Can People Handle Abstinence?
Five Keys to Surviving a Sexual Drought
CHECKLIST, THE SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP 54
Twenty Questions About Sex
CLITORAL STIMULATION 56
How to Make Love to a Clitoris
COMMUNICATION 60
How Important Is Communication?
Five Principles of Communication
How to Discuss the Touchiest Sexual Issues
The Secret to Creating Positive Sexual Change
Seven Nonverbal Ways to Let Your Partner Know What You Want
COMPULSIVE SEXUAL BEHAVIOR 66
CONDOMS 69
The Shoppers’ Guide
Ten Most Often Asked Condom Questions
Condom Play: How to Incorporate Condom Use Into Loveplay
Female Condom
CONFLICT RESOLUTION 74
Six Steps for Conflict Resolution
CUNNILINGUS 76
CYBERSEX 77
DESIRE 79
Six Tips for Handling Disparate Levels of Desire
What Causes Loss of Desire?
DIVORCE, IMPACT ON SEXUALITY 84
Ten Steps to Becoming Sexually Active After Divorce
DYSFUNCTION, SEXUAL 88
EJACULATION 89
Premature Ejaculation
Three Techniques for Curing Premature Ejaculation
Delayed Ejacualtion or Male Orgasmic Disorder
How to Handle Male Orgasmic Disorder
Female Ejaculation
ERECTION 95
Anatomy of an Erection
What Men Say About Erections
Four Steps for Handling Your Erection Difficulties
Four Steps for Helping Him Handle His Erection Difficulties
EROTICA 98
Ten of the Best Books and Videos Aimed at Women and Couples
EXERCISE 101
EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIRS 102
Top Eight Reasons People Have Affairs
Types of Affairs
Five Most Commonly Asked Questions About Affairs
FANTASY, SEXUAL 110
What Fantasies Are and What They Are Not
Why They’re Good for You and When They’re Not
Top Ten Sexual Fantasies
Should You Share or Act Out Sexual Fantasies with Your Partner?
FEAR, OVERCOMING 118
Five Fears to Overcome for Great Sex
FELLATIO 120
FETISHISM 121
FLIRTING 123
Five Rules of Flirting
FOREPLAY 126
Seven Tips for Hotter Foreplay
FREQUENCY OF LOVEMAKING, AND HOW TO INCREASE 129
Six Sexual Energizers
G SPOT 132
What Women Say About Their G Spots
How to Stimulate Her G Spot
GENDER ROLE EXPECTATIONS 134
Three Keys to Becoming a More Complete Lover
GUILT, OVERCOMING 137
Three Suggestions for Overcoming Guilt
HEALTH AND SEXUALITY 139
Four Health Steps for Enhancing Sexuality
HOMOSEXUALITY 142
Five Questions Most Often Asked by Heterosexuals About
Homosexuality
HORMONES 145
HOT SPOTS 147
Five Hot Areas
HYSTERECTOMY, AFFECT ON SEXUALITY 149
What Happens to a Woman’s Sexuality Following a Hysterectomy
How to Handle Post-Surgery Loss of Libido
ILLNESS AND DISABILITY 152
Seven Steps to Restoring Sexual Responsiveness
IMPOTENCE 155
Five Steps a Man Can Take to Restore Sexual Function
Five Steps a Woman Can Take to Help Restore a Man’s
Sexual Functioning
INFERTILITY 159
Five Ways to Make Sex Hotter While Trying to Conceive
INTERCOURSE 161
Seven Ways of Enhancing Intercourse
INTIMACY 164
What Is Intimacy?
How to Overcome His (or Your ) Fear of Intimacy
JEALOUSY, SEXUAL 167
Five Steps to Defusing Jealousy
JOY BREAK 171
KEGELS 175
How to Exercise Your Love Muscles
KINKY SEX 178
Five Most Common Forms of Kinky Sexplay
KISSING 182
Six Essential Kissing Tips
LOVEBITES 185
Five Best Spots to Lovebite
LOVEMAPS 187
What Is a Lovemap?
Three Steps for Creating a New and Positive Lovemap
LUBRICATION 190
Four Steps to Take in Relieving Vaginal Dryness
MARRIAGE, (AND/OR MONOGAMY) SPICING UP 193
Five Steps to Rekindling Marital (Monogamous) Sex
Beyond Bubble Baths and Lingerie: Twelve Less Obvious
Ideas for Reviving a Tired Sex Life
MARRIAGE, OPEN 197
Essential Open Marriage Questions
MARRIAGE, SEXLESS 199
Five Steps for Putting Sex Back in Your Marriage
MASSAGE, EROTIC 201
Six Steps to an Erotic Massage
MASTURBATION 204
Top Ten Questions About Masturbation
MEDICATIONS, PRESCRIBED, SEXUAL EFFECT OF 208
Medication Action List
MENTAL HEALTH, EFFECT ON SEXUALITY 211
Five Steps to Shaking off the Sexual Blahs
MENOPAUSE, EFFECT ON SEXUALITY 215
Eight Steps to Maintaining Sexual Responsiveness During
and After Menopause
MENOPAUSE, MALE 218
Ten Steps to Alleviating the Male Midlife Crisis
MYTHS, SEXUAL 221
Top Ten Myths About Sex
NONCOITAL SEX 223
Five Ways of Having Sex Without Penetration
OVERCOMING OBSTACLES TO GOOD SEX, DAILY 226
Twenty Suggestions for Overcoming Daily Obstacles to Sex
ORAL SEX 230
How to Get A Reluctant Partner to Give and Receive Oral Sex
Six Steps for Performing Cunnilingus
Three Tips for Receiving Cunnilingus
Six Steps for Performing Fellatio
Three Tips for Receiving Fellatio
ORGASM 236
What Is An Orgasm?
Male Orgasm
Four Techniques for Delaying Orgasm
Female Orgasm
How Can A Woman Experience Orgasm During Intercourse?
Behavior Traits of Easily Orgasmic Women
Theories About Orgasm
Secret to the Simultaneous Orgasm
Multiple Orgasm
How Women Can Experience Multiple Orgasms
How Men Can Experience Multiple Orgasms
The Perineum Halt: How She Can Help
Extragenital Orgasm
Spontanious Orgasm
Whole-Body Orgasm
Why Faked Orgasms
PAINFUL INTERCOURSE, DYSPAREUNIA 250
PARAPHILIAS 253
What Is a Paraphilia?
What Causes Paraphilias?
What Are the Treatments?
PERFORMANCE ANXIETY 256
PEYRONIE’S DISEASE 257
PLAYING HARD TO GET 259
PORNOGRAPHY 260
POSITIONS, INTERCOURSE 261
Advantages, Disadvantages, and Variations of the Six Basic
Intercourse Positions
PREGNANCY 267
How Does Pregnancy Affect Sexuality?
How Does Childbirth Affect Sexuality?
Five Rules for Lovemaking During Pregnancy and After Childbirth
PREMENSTRUAL SYNDROME (PMS) AND SEXUALITY 271
Three Tips for Managing Cycles of Desire
PROSTATE PROBLEMS AND SEXUALITY 273
Five Steps for Handling Prostate Problems
QUICKIES 276
RECOVERY SEX 277
Five Steps to Recovery Sex
Sexual Aftershock of Abortion
Ten Steps to Assist Healing and Restore Sexuality
Sexual Abuse
What to Do If You or Your Partner Has Been Abused
Alcohol and Drug Abuse’s Effect on Sexuality
Rape
Five Steps to Helping Yourself (or Your Partner) Become
Fully Sexual Again
ROMANCE 287
Six Ways to Keep (Or Put Back) the Romance in Your
Relationship
SAFE SEX 292
Sex Activities in Ascending Order of Risk
SEASONAL SEXUAL SLUMP 294
SECRETS, SEXUAL 296
Five Keys to Sharing Sexual Secrets
SENSUALITY 299
Five Exercises for Awakening Sensuality
SEX EDUCATION 303
Top Ten Questions Parents of Children and Teens Have About Sex
SEX THERAPY 307
Five Warning Signs Indicating Therapy is Needed
SEX TOYS 310
Five Tips for Enhancing Couple’s Vibrator Use
SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES AND SEXUALITY 313
Top Five Questions People Have about STDs
AIDS
SMOKING, EFFECT ON SEXUALITY 317
TAOIST AND TANTRIC SEX, OR EASTERN SEXUAL
TECHNIQUES
Four Eastern Sex Techniques Any Couple Can Use
TEENAGE SEX 322
Five Crucial Teen Sex Guidelines
TRUST 325
Trust Scale
What Your Answers Mean
VAGINISMUS 332
Eight Steps for Curing Vaginismus
WET DREAMS 335
ZIPLESS SEX OR QUICKIES 336
Five Golden Rules of Quickies